Insanity

Extreme cold induces insanity. It’s happening to me. Yesterday it was -6 degrees (-17 windchill) when I left for work and as I shuffled along grumpily, I couldn’t help but chastise my fellow commuters (under my breath). Sir, your Northface FLEECE is not appropriate for -17 degrees. And YOU, missy, are you really so concerned about messing up your hair that you won’t wear a hat IN -17 DEGREE WEATHER?? How vain are you? I honestly had no control of the words coming out through my clenched teeth, hidden of course, by my wool scarf.

Today I was walking down the street with my normal brisk, city-walker stride. The sidewalks are extremely narrowed right now due to all the snow piled up on either side. As I approached my street I was cut off by a giant, elderly man, walking stiffly at about half my pace. His legs were each about 6 feet long and he swayed gingerly from side to side as he strolled along. I slowed practically to a halt behind him because there was no way to pass—he was taking up the entire sidewalk. Like any normal insane person I started tail-gaiting him.

As a pedestrian.

He finally noticed that someone was behind him and stepped aside to let me pass. And once I got past him and realized that I had just tail-gaited a pedestrian, I started laughing so hard that the air began to freeze in my lungs. And as I choked I only laughed harder.

And that was when I knew I was truly insane.