Reality Check

The most bizarre thing happened to me today and it didn't even include fowl! I don't even think a story could do justice so I'm just going to relate the phone conversation in dialogue form (with my thoughts in parentheses)

Monday, October 9th, 2006, 3:45 PM. Location: my desk.

Telephone: Ring, ring...

Caitlyn: L-- Stars, this is Caitlyn.

Caller: Hi.

pause

Caitlyn: Hello.

Caller: Yeah, Caitlyn, I need your help.

Caitlyn: Ok.

Caller: Well... let me give you a bit of background because you don't know the whole first episode.

Caitlyn: Ok. (Crap, this is going to be some mom calling to complain about something.)

Caller: So. (pause) My friend is a foreign exchange student from England and she like has this British accent all the time, and all the men are just wild about her and it is really gettin me down. (Speaking really fast so I can almost not understand).

Caitlyn: Ok. (Hesitantly, because what the heck does this have to do with me? Maybe its not a mom?)

Caller: So I need an accent.

pause

Caitlyn: I'm sorry?

Caller: You know I need an accent.

pause

Caitlyn: Well, ....we don't teach accents, we teach LANGUAGES. ....And we only work with children.

Caller: Oh. ...So which accent do you think is the sexiest?

pause

Caitlyn: Who is this? (WHAT?!)

Caller: My name is Allie.

Caitlyn: Ok. (Do I know any Allies??)

Caller: Maybe Italian? I could try an Italian accent.

Caitlyn: Sure.

Caller: So could you say something in Italian?

Caitlyn: Er, I don't speak Italian.

pause

Caller: Well what do you speak?

Caitlyn: English... and Spanish.

Caller: Oh, Spanish could be cool, kind of like a Selma Hayek kind of thing.

Caitlyn: Uh huh. (Oh my God, who IS this? Any second someone is going to start laughing about the good one they pulled on me)

Caller: So.. say something in Spanish. ...Say, "Hi boys, how are you doing today?"

pause

Caitlyn: You want me to say that in Spanish?

Caller: Yeah.

pause (Oh my God.)

Caitlyn: Hola chicos, como estan? (This is ridiculous)

Caller: Hola.. chicos.. como.. estan.

Caitlyn: That's it.

Caller: Cool. ...Now can you say it like you were a 900 number?

Telephone Line 2: Ring ring ring...

Caitlyn: (ARE YOU KIDDING ME??) I'm so sorry, I have to go get the other line. Thank you so much for calling. Goodbye.

CLICK.

I was sure that any second the phone would ring with somebody laughing telling me what a moron I had been, falling for that. Nobody called. I called other offices to find out if anyone had just called me. Nobody claimed it. I actually think it was real.